


Settle a Bet

by Lia_Margy



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Human is basically just me but better - Freeform, I personally do not have anything against swearing but someone might get scandalized, Is this going to far into monster fucker territory?, Marked teen because of the swearing, Really I have no other ideas - Freeform, This story is so unfinished the characters don't even have names - Freeform, based on a prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 22:49:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19451092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Margy/pseuds/Lia_Margy
Summary: Based off a prompt. "One evening, a portal to Hell opens at the foot of your bed. A demon strides through, rips off your covers, and begins to drag you through the portal by your ankles saying "You're going to help me settle a bet."





	1. In which a hot demon emerges from Hell and the main character panics and is a slight idiot

**Author's Note:**

> Poor choices are made, and caffeine is not horrible

"You're going to help me settle a bet."

Okay, so, there's a bet. And a demon. Okay, I have to protest. I'm never gonna settle a bet without consuming caffeine first.

I kick the demon off and run to my kitchen. Okay, maybe not the best course of action, and undoubtedly the most painful, seeing as on my way there I slammed into every fucking corner and door. Thank Gaia or whatever deity is up there that no one's home.

The demon swears and chases after me. Fuck, I gave her the wrong impression. She probably thinks that I was trying to run away...

Um.... Okay, don't panic.

Don't panic.

She's in the kitchen with me now.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Talk.

SPEAK DAMN IT.

GAH!

Okay, she's lunging at me.

Grab the tea box and a mug.

She looks confused. Good.

Quick, put the stuff down, grab the kettle and fill it, check.

She's talking now.

I didn't hear what she said. Tilt my head as I get out a teabag and put it in the mug.

I'm hungry now. Okay, she's talking again.

"Aren't you going to try to run away, or attack me or something?" Psh, I would, but that would hurt you.

Wait don't say that, it sounds stupid and soft. The water's boiling! Pour it into the mug!

I should be answering her question but the only reply I've thought of is dumb and soft.

Okay, I don't know how long I'm going to be gone, so let's eat some cereal. Bowl, cereal, milk, just as it was foretold! Tea's done.

She's talking again, what is she saying? I don't know. Just keep eating. Fuuuuuuuck...

.

.

.

Okay, she's asking me if I'm mute. Alright, not a bad assumption I guess, but no.

Shake that head. Ha. I shake my head back and forth, I shake my head back and forth~!... And I don't remember the rest of the lyrics to that song~!

Tea is done, cereal has been eaten, and I have yet to say a word. 

She's staring... I'm also staring... This is awkward. Sip the tea, break the silence.

Eugh, that slurp was disgusting. Aight, just keep drinking the tea. Someone needs to speak but I'm saving my voice for something, for what, I don't know, but I'm gonna need it I think.

"So... If you aren't mute, why won't you speak? Are you shy or something?" A little, but not this much.

Okay. Calm down.

Take a deep breath, and impress her with words! Wait, why should I impress her? I mean, she's a demon. Kinda hot, but still a demon.

Deep breath... Open the mouth... "I... Uh... Well, uh..."

omigodyoufuckingidiotgffggfshsgh-

How very eloquent, me.

"I tend to make weird decisions, and not speaking happened to be one of today's strange choices." Okay that could've been worse. Good speech talents, me!

"Oh, okay." She says, making a confused and somewhat amused face.

She thinks I'm weird.

Which isn't bad, because I am weird, but still. I sip the last of my tea. "So what's the bet that needs settling?"


	2. Flicked noses and 1(One) disaster gay/bi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay one, (Something I should have written on the last chapter notes but oh well) IT IS NO LONGER PRIDE MONTH  
> THE GAYS ARE NOW "UNALLOWED" TO "RUB THEIR GAYNESS" IN HOMOPHOBES FACES  
> we'll show them  
> Two. It is somewhat late and my mind is in that weird void between sleep derived insanity and normal inspiration. ANYWAY HERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER IF THERE'S EVEN ANYONE READINGDROWFHIEFHE
> 
> *Blatantly ignoring the thing that says 7 hits and one kudos"  
> IF THERE'S A N Y O N E READING THIS
> 
> Seriously I'm a little confused about that one kudos  
> I'm trying to teach myself that I'm a decent writer but it's not registering

I sip the last of my tea. “So, what’s the bet that needs settling?” Gotta make sure I’m not about to die or something.

“I can’t really say without affecting the bet… We need an impartial being to help out with that.” Says the hot demon.

Okay maybe I shouldn’t refer to her as “Hot demon”. She’s more than a hot demon.

Probably.

Also, impartial being?

“Can’t you just get another demon to do it?” It makes sense, no?

“Oh heav- Hell no! Everyone knows each other and they either hate each other or they’re best friends.”

I suddenly want more tea.

As she starts talking again, I examine her further. Well, further than I have been. 

She’s got olive-ish skin, although it’s got a red undertone. Undertone? I think that’s the word for it. Yeah. Undertone.

She looks kind of like she’d be a gerudo in Legend of Zelda.

Fuck, I’m in trouble.

Her hair is dark brown, almost black actually.

 _Fuck._ I’m in so much trouble.

Shit. Okay.

Don’t be attracted to the demon.

Don’t be attracted to the demon.

Fuck.Fuuuuuuuu- _OW!_

**MY NOSE.**

**MY NOSE HURTS.**

.

.

.

GASP.

_IT’S BEEN FLICKED!_

_**IT’S BEEN FLICKED!** _

_IT’S BEEN FLICKED!_

_IT’S BEEN FLICKED!_

**_HAS IT BEEN FLICKED?_ **

_**I THINK THE DEMON FLICKED MY NOSE.** _

**SHE DID.**

**SHE DID!**

SHE FLICKED IT SO HARD AND _OOOW **WWWWW**!_

“Hello? Are you still there?” 

Suddenly I remember where I am and who I am and for a second I even regain my purpose in life, and I know how to stop world hunger!

…. Wait no, never mind. There it all goes, leaving me with just my surroundings, self awareness, and a demon.

Oh, and I remembered that I didn’t actually finish my tea and I still have some! Win!

Crap, I need to do something or she’ll leave or something. I nod. I tooootally know what’s going on. No confusion here!

Haha!

HA!

“Okay, good. I was planning on just taking you to hell, but you’re awake now, and there needn’t be any fuss.” Oh, she’s getting up now, I guess I’m actually going to hell.

Huh. Never thought I’d think that sentence. Okay. Back to my room, then! “Oh, and we’ll be gone for a while, so you should probably pack some stuff.”

Shit. That’ll take a while. Run back to my room then and don’t knock over the demon on your way!

Step, step, step, and side step and trip.

Oh no.

Catch myself on the nearest thing, and- Oh shit.

It wasn’t solid.

WE’RE GOING DOWN MAY DAY MAY DAY _OH SHIT I’M DRAGGING THE DEMON DOWN FUCK THIS IS NOT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO HOLY FUCK_ \- **WALL!**

Land on the wall, don’t let demon fall and now she’s right in front of me, okay we’re safe!…

But she caught herself on the wall too and now her hands are above my head and by golly this is so fucking anime fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-

okay leave.

Just leave.

Go under her arms and go pack.

Do it.

She’s looking at me.

Fuck.

_Shit._

Swear word.

**Her eyes are _beautiful_. **

.

.

.

 **WAIT**. OKAY BYE STEPPING UNDER HER ARM NOW AND RUN. DON’T LOOK BACK. Around the corner, grab a bag, grab shirts, pants,, everything. EVERYTHING. **HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay. Let’s recount what just happened.

I packed, rather frantically, the demon came in, we aren’t talking about the thing, and we just entered Hell. Before we went in, she put a blindfold over my eyes, so I’m feeling a little scared, but the demon’s leading me through, and I’ve been trying to get over the fact that said demon is incredibly attractive.

I’m doing well, I think.

I’m getting shoved into a closet.

Really? I came out of the closet a while ago, and now you’re putting me back?

Oh well.

“Stay here, and pretend to be scared. I told them I’d kidnap someone during midnight as they were sleeping, and well, you were not.”

I nod, as at this point I’d do many things for this demon, even though I’d only known her for a few hours. For fucks sake, me… Have some restraint!

Okay. She’s closing the doors- Gyuuhhh… I hate the sound of wood rubbing on wood. Although I suppose this is Hell, and everything’s supposed to be somewhat inadequate in some way. Okay. Act scared. Alright.

Time to wreck my throat. Inhale. Remember what Mama always said. Be loud and don’t stop struggling. Well, I have to “wake up” first, after all.

She did say that I was supposed to be asleep.

Hum a song and get in character.

You’ve never talked to any demon.

In fact, I don’t even believe in demons! T

here is no god, just Gaia.

Or whoever’s up there.

I don’t know, I’m not dead yet. I’m getting off track.

_Sigh..._

It’s Show Time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is weird, I can't tell if this character is me but more exaggerated or if she's someone completely new.

**Author's Note:**

> This actually started as a comment pic on Pinterest, and it was a lot of blocks of text. Now that it's on Ao3, I can do some better formatting!  
> Three cheers for better formatting! Hip Hip- Okay that's enough.


End file.
